Tuesday, November 6, 2012

New Neighbors

Remember my neighbor who got robbed?  Well, he moved out two weekends ago, and this last weekend, we got new neighbors.  These places are never vacant for long.  In fact, a few weeks before that, we got new neighbors on the other side of us!  They are fairly quiet this time around.  We have yet to get to know them.

But our New new neighbors, we met Friday afternoon, while we were cleaning the house.  Well, we met the 12 year old daughter.  She came to our door a few times asking to borrow our phone.  Here was the first encounter.

Her:  "Hi, we just moved in, and we don't have a phone yet.  Can I borrow yours?"
Me:   "Sure.  Its charging in the back.  Let me go get it."

I shut the door, leaving her on the front porch and went to retrieve my phone.  As I opened the door and handed her the phone....

Her:  "This is a private phone call."

Stunned, I looked at her:

Me:   "Oookay!" Thinking, whose the one doing the favor here?  I wanted to say, I'll listen if I want to!

I left her to use my phone in privacy.  She knocked on the door when she was done.

Her:  "Thanks."

She then turns around and walks back to her house before I could get a "You're welcome" out.  I was a little puzzled.  It was a really odd way to behave toward complete strangers.  But I understand not having a phone, and feeling slightly desperate to get in contact with someone.  She asked to use my phone another time before the day was done.  

Toward evening, Hoss came home, and Bunny, Bug, and Puppy Huggles (trying on another name for the baby.  Maybe I'll explain sometime), and myself all went out to greet him.  Our new neighbor (the daughter) happened to be outside, and we got to know her a little bit better.  It turns out that her name is "Bug" too... and her middle name is also Mine.  Which makes our #2's full name.  We have 2 girls within 50 feet having the name "Bug Mine."  What are the odds?  That was really fun to find out.  I'm sorry if that got confusing, if you know #2's full name, you'll understand completely).

She was very personable, and spoke with us for quite a while.  Hoss just happens to be good at asking questions to get a person talking.  She shared a lot with us.  I mean A LOT.  I would be concerned as a mother with how much she was willing to share.  From how her mom died from an overdose, to how she gets in fights at school.  She is only 12 years old.  To be honest, I thought she was much older when she first came to the door.  Her dad then came home and we met him briefly before we headed back into the house to get ready for dinner.

The next day, Saturday, I was going into the house after attending a funeral, and the young girl approached me.

Her:  "Can we have your wep key password to your internet?  We won't have any internet for another week."

Me:   "Uh... Hold on.  Ask my husband."

Yes, I totally passed it off on him.  We wouldn't even ask a neighbor we new really well if we could have their internet password.  Now if they offer it, that's a different story.

She then asked Hoss, and he told her that we don't give out that information.  She seemed to press for it, but he refused.  Again, I was floored.

Last night (Sunday night), Bunny and Bug had been asleep for about an hour, and Huggles had fallen asleep on the floor when there came a knock on the door.  I answered it, curious as to who would knock on our door at 10pm.  It was the father of our little friend from next door.  He was dragging on a cigarette, blowing the smoke in my face all while we talked.  Apparently, his daughter had asked our other new neighbors for a ride somewhere.  He asked if she had asked us too.  I told him no.  I then proceeded to tell him that we wouldn't ever give her a ride anywhere....especially without parental consent (an actual conversation with her dad).  Even then, it would not be very likely.  I'm all for doing service for other people... but there are some things that are just innapropriate with people you don't really know.

Huggles asleep on the floor.
It gets worse.  He shared a lot with me last night, more than I'm sure I needed to know.  His daughter is in desperate need of a good role model.  She is getting involved in drugs and other things that are going to wind her up in juvi, or who knows where else.  

As he was walking down the porch, he mentioned how the internet company that they are using won't be there for another week (I think that was the 3rd mention of it or so). 
 I got pulled into that trap.  I mentioned how we were going to use that internet company, but they took too long, so we cancelled.  We ended up using a different company.  
He saw that I took the bate and mentioned that in his last neighborhood, he let his neighbors have his internet router password all the time.  His words were, "It doesn't cost anything."  I then realized that I fell for his trap, and I chose to ignore all of what he said.  He doddled on the porch for a few minutes talking in round-about ways... basically saying that I should give him our password for a week.  I continued to ignore him, appologized for his daughter's running off, and said good luck... then went in and shut the door to find Hoss raising his eyebrows curiously (he was in the bedroom during most of it).

Ask me for a cup of sugar, some eggs, or even some butter!  I might even lend our rake!  But when it comes to the neighbors requesting information that we have to pay hard earned money for the services....that's a little much, no?

What would you do in my situation?  I was once a troubled young girl looking for attention in all the wrong places...but she is much younger than I was, and she is already asking people for more than she should.  I'm worried about the possibility of being robbed, manipulated, and used.  What do you think the boundaries should be?
Have you ever had any neighbors be that familiar with you?  Like I said, I want to be more of a missionary, but I have also experienced what it is like to try to help someone who is just trying to get more out of you.  Those types of people will take and take and take with no remorse or proper gratitude.  Where do you draw the line?  Seriously?  Advice asked!


Evelyn Curtis


  1. I think you are doing right, not giving that out...You have to be careful, People will steal, this happened locally here with a mother daughter stealing at church. Always keep your doors locked and just don't be afraid to say no. I am coaching a youth basketball team and one lady wanted me to pick up her child and take him to practice and take him home, I said um I can't do that, that put a stop to her asking. Good luck and change your wifi password frequently. The Lord will protect your family! As far as the 12 year old, I think try to get her involved in mutual at church.

  2. Thanks G-Rant. I think I'm going to ask around church to see if there are any of the young women going to the same school as her.

  3. It isn't your responsibility to look after the girl....invite her to mutual sure, but sometimes you have to protect your #1 asset. Your family. And if your neighbors aren't people you want frequenting your family space then don't let them. I get the whole missionary thing, but like I said, protect your #1 asset.

  4. I concur with all of the comments above. Keep your space. Provide no passwords.

  5. Thanks for the advice. You are right, and Kendra, that is definitely how I feel. I need to take care of my family first. Crazy people around here! :)


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